Terms of Service

By accessing and using Distortions Daily ("the Site"), you agree to be bound by the following Terms of Service. If you do not agree with these terms, please do not use the Site.

1. Satirical Content Disclaimer

All articles, headlines, characters, and quotes published on Distortions Daily are fictional and intended for entertainment and satire purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, organizations, or events is purely coincidental or used in a clearly satirical context.

2. User Accounts

Users may create an account to access certain features, such as browsing the full Archive. By signing up, you agree to provide accurate information and maintain the confidentiality of your login credentials. We reserve the right to suspend or terminate accounts for violation of these Terms or inappropriate behavior.

3. Email Communications

By creating an account, you consent to receive occasional emails related to site updates, new editions, announcements, and satirical dispatches. You may unsubscribe from these communications at any time.

4. Intellectual Property

All content published on Distortions Daily is the intellectual property of the site owner unless otherwise noted. Unauthorized reproduction, distribution, or modification of our content without prior written permission is strictly prohibited.

5. Limitation of Liability

The Site is provided "as is" without warranties of any kind. We are not responsible for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential damages arising from the use or inability to use the Site, including reliance on any content published herein.

6. Changes to Terms

We reserve the right to update or modify these Terms of Service at any time without prior notice. Your continued use of the Site constitutes acceptance of the updated terms.

Last updated: April 2025.